Till This Day

He was sleeping.  He had that silly smile on his face too. You know that smile that made me listen to him when he walked up to me at my sister's wedding? Yes that one. He wore it through our relationship and to the wedding too. I remembered smiling right back while he repeated those stereotyped vows that the priest made him say. I remembered letting him take off my gown that night and swearing that we would do nothing else if he did not read his real vows first as he had promised. I had my vows written too and the paper was safely tucked in my phone pouch, but I wanted him to go first.

He had his in his left pocket and as he pulled it out carelessly, I watched him. He had never been a writer and I was honestly ready to accept anything he had written. To be fair, I had been celibate for years and I was too horny to care about perfect words. Nevertheless, curiosity had gotten the best of me and I needed to know what he had written down.

Four years had passed, but I still kept the paper. I reached for my side drawer and pulled it out. The memories hit me like a wave as soon as I saw his horrible writing on the worn piece of paper.

I could tell he was anxious as he wiped the invisible sweat off his forehead. The air conditioning  in the hotel room was on full blast, but I said nothing.  I did not want to discourage him.

Annie he had started slowly. My Annie. The queen of my heart. My soul mate.

I rolled my eyes at this point and he laughed

I know these words mean nothing to you. I always thought it was funny that you were such an amazing writer but you had no patience for poetry and all those big twisted words.

He knew me too well.

The first time I saw you, I turned to my friend  and said "Now that is an amazing ass."

I narrowed my eyes like a crossed mother, but I was still smiling.

I walked up to you with all the courage I could muster and sat beside you. As the witch that you were, you left me a trap in form of a porcupine purse that poked me so hard that I almost cried.

I laughed.

Then you laughed and apologized. I had no idea if I was allowed to move on with my preplanned pickup lines or not  but I did anyway. Somehow you let me have your number. Somehow you let me into your life and... (he shook his head and laughed)... you had a crazy life. You had four brothers that would not stop threatening me. Even that small Obinna scared the crap out of me. Then there was your CWO mother that made me attend morning mass every time I slept over. Every single time.

I laughed again, but tears were beginning to form in my eyes.

When you told me that celibacy crap, I thought "Why me? Can't you try it out in your next relationship?" I knew you were attracted to me and I decided that you would break after two months especially since you agreed to move in with me. Somehow, four months became three years and for some reason I stayed. Honestly, I considered marrying you just because I wanted the sex. I mean, you kept taunting me with that great ass of yours that I had never had. It made so much sense at the time.  Then, I realised how shallow that was and I swore I would stay for two whole years first just so I could be sure. Two years passed and I proposed. I really thought you would say yes since you always dragged me to weddings and we visited so many jewellery stores, but you said you were not ready. You did not want to get married yet. Which 28 year old did not want to get married?! Only Annie?!

Ask me why I stayed, Annie.

I asked him.

You might not have big boobs but it is a miracle that your oversize heart can fit in behind those ribs. Your smile makes me want to squeeze you until you disappear into my heart. You laugh at me more than anyone else and somehow I love that. You can be so pushy, but I got two big promotions while we were dating and it is still a miracle to me. My mother should never know this or I will deny you, but I have never tasted anything like your cooking.  You used to hate football before you met me, but when you cried that time that Manchester United lost, I knew that I just had to marry you.

One minute, you are tough as nails and the next minute you turn into pap. It can be so confusing,  but nothing good comes easy, right? Then of course you are more hilarious than I let on. You are the only curvy girl I know that cannot dance to save her life. My cheeks are still throbbing from that time I said God forgot to give you the talent to go with the goods. I deserved that slap too. I laughed so hard that I peed on myself ...pretend you never heard that. I know your voice is better than mine even though you always force me to lead the choruses. We already settled that. I love that we pray together. I love that you can be so pissed and still forget what even made you angry in the first place. I love your new haircut by the way. I know you think I hate it, but it suits you. Anything would suit that pretty face. I did not have to think long and hard about marrying you. It just came naturally. Maybe that is the real reason I waited. 

I started weeping.

Then there was this great ass to consider of course.

And I burst out laughing

Yes I love you. I know I started saying those words late, but I regret all the days that passed without my saying them. I swear on my honour to make you hear them everyday until we are old and we have no teeth. Even then, I will scribble them as often as I can.

My tears would not stop flowing.

Also, as hard as this was to start, I am glad you made me write it. Now I know how vulnerable I am before you and you know it too. You can totally crush me like a roach. But, hey. You are scared of roaches, so I win.

We had to postpone reading my vows for a bit. Well...the entire night. He deserved it after all.

I carefully folded the piece of paper and returned it to the drawer. When I turned around, he had disappeared. I reached for the pillow and hugged it tight to my chest. I let the tears flow freely.  It was our anniversary after all and I did not have to be strong today.

The bastard only had one job. All he had to do was stay alive, but no. He just had to get on that stupid plane.

# TheRitaSide

(Dedicated to all the good people that bad things still happen to)

(Thank you for the title!! @Tulsy Bruce)