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Showing posts from 2017

Showing the Right Amount of Teeth: Staying Professional

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It has come to my notice that a lot of people do not know what to do with their dentition when they find themselves in a professional setting. Maybe I am not the right person to give this kind of advice. To be honest, I have never had a 9 to 5 job and the fact that I am a student is no excuse. What happened to using the holidays? Well, who needs experience for this kind of talk? I will be speaking from the customer's point of view today, and I believe I am more than qualified to play this part. After all, the customer/client is always right, yes? Definitely. Back to my point. Is it acceptable to smile in a professional setting? Of course. It is almost a requirement! Smiling has a way of working its magic and putting the customer at ease. Sometimes, it even assuages the anger of a furious individual; possibily one that has had to stand for hours. On the contrary, if one is unfortunate enough to meet a frowning or aggressive worker at the desk, he/she may feel self-conscious or ev

Musings of A Girl Who Needs Sleep

Who blogs when they have exams? Definitely not me. At least that is what I would have said last week. I should probably explain the gravity of the exam in question before I move further. It is one of those exams that will give you sleepless nights a month or even two months before. That one that makes you delete your Instagram handle and put your whatsapp on hold. Yes that one. Yet, I am two weeks away from this exam and I am am still typing. Scratch that. Eleven days! I just realised I only have eleven days!!!! I need some air. The thing I like about exams is that once they start, there is no going back until they are over. So yes I might be scared and I might have reminded myself countless times that I swore not to cry until I saw my first baby. Still, I am grateful. Grateful that I am close to the end of a phase in my life. Grateful that I am moving forward. Grateful that the end draws near although the journey just began yesterday. I don't won't to rant about my new 3hr s

You Should Taste This One: Food Review

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Before you castigate the picture, you should know that I only decided to write about this halfway through my meal. Was it because it was not good enough? Definitely not!  I was just too busy devouring the food, that I completely forgot I could actually tell the world about it. Before the plate looked like that, there was a nice display of boiled yam and egg sauce before me. Normally, I wouldn't take anything but snacks and rice in a restaurant, but a friend recommended it. For a long time, this pest of a friend has been bugging me: 'Nneoma, go and take yam and egg sauce at Genesis.' 'Nneoma have you had it yet?' So, I got tired of the talk and decided to oblige her. Before I entered, I was thinking: can any good thing come out of hospital food? ( I consider any food sold near the hospital as hospital food.) Still, I opened the door to Genesis (beside UPTH, Rivers State in case you are wondering) and placed my order. Just by looking at it, I had this awkward

Untold

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(The short story spirit is my new love.) " Bia buru nni gi ", my mother called. Come and take your food. I turned to my little sister who was already devouring her meal. I could not blame her. We had not eaten a decent meal since father died . Even when he was alive, we toiled; living off his little shop at the corner of the lonely street and the salary that never came. Mother would stay in the shop all day until father returned from Aba Boys Primary School where he taught. The day he had died had started out as a joyful one. October's salary had finally come. Nobody cared that the government still owed six months. We were only joyful that they had remembered him. The cruel country had managed to make us see his right as a privilege. Excitedly, he had gone to the bank, but my old man never made it back. A truck had crushed him on his way home. He was robbed at this scene too, probably by someone whose case was worse than ours. I refused to cry at the funeral. I wa

'Sexcuses': The Master List

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So who heard of the FECAMDS convention in Uniben? I was there and it was lit! Before anyone says that the school paid me to make them look good, I have to mention that I mean every word and you can quote me anywhere. I know there were some issues which I refuse to mention, but the spiritual experience was really enlightening and the entertainment was noteworthy. Back to the point. There was this singular talk we had that I thought I should share with you. Honestly, I regret judging the speaker long before he opened his mouth. He was the basic pharmacist that looked a bit too old to talk about '21 century relationships'. I imagined that he picked his wife up from her ss2 class and anything he was going to tell us would be as good as useless to our generation. Guess what? I still don't know how old his wife was when he married her, but I definitely know that he talked like he had been in the business for a while. He started by quoting a million Bible verses about marriages

The Family Dinner

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(Hello! I just decided to try something new. Hope you like it. I humbly apologise for not posting in a while. School has a way of consuming your entire being. Enjoy.) "How do I look?" Uloma asked. "Turn around." She obeyed. "You look beautiful, mom", Ugo told her quietly. She nodded in appreciation. It was a beautiful day afterall; the day she would meet all her lovely children. She had managed to convince them to attend her 60th birthday dinner today and she was surprised that they had agreed. After their father had died, the children had gone through a catastrophic metamorphosis that she was totally oblivious of. She needed to know why her family was in shambles now more than ever. She needed to fix it. She would lock them all up and threaten to end her life if they were not cooperative. After dark, they trickled into the house  and sat at the dining table, each avoiding the other. None had a gift. None even brought wine. Uloma stared at all fo

The Birthday Inventory

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So this birthday has finally come and gone. Since 2013, I have gone out for every birthday except yesterday's and I can tell you honestly that it was the best birthday I had had in a while; running very closely with the one where I got a full body massage (shout to my girl!). Someone is going to wonder what was so special about yesterday. Well, let me tell you. It was just perfect. It started off on a strange i-am-getting-old foot where I was thinking of all that I had not achieved and what I should have been. Then, I went to church and it got worse with sadder thoughts invading my mind. On my way back, I turned on my phone to seek solitude. Firstly, I had a trailer load of messages (on days like that, you realise that people are ready to stay awake for you and to me, that is really amazing). Then came this video that was so funny that I might have shed a tear or two. Then I got a call from my aunty who gathered her three children to sing to me. After that, the smile became en

The Little Things

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Do you ever have that phase in life where you start feeling like the world has left you behind and God's graces are slipping from your fingers? Lately, that had become my default mode. I get some tough luck; I blame my diminishing graces. I lose something important; I blame my poor spiritual life. Somehow it had managed to progressively crush a significant portion of my faith in God and myself. So there I was, dwelling in that strange mood again earlier today. I left the school premises (not so far from the institution) for some personal reasons and when it was time to return, I realised I had no money on me. Surely I could have borrowed from a friend, but my pride wouldn't listen. * Walk * I told myself. * What is the worst that could happen? Besides, exercise does not hurt anyone. * So I walked and walked until the heavens decided to send down the rain. That it was just drizzling did not stop me from feeling like my unlucky genes were playing their tricks again.  The tiny

Humility: Who e epp?

Recently, with all the bragging and display of wealth that I had seen on social media, I was forced to ask who humility has really helped. Today we had this great talk on humility and we were given clear-cut reasons to be humble. Here are the ones I could jot down. 1.  We are not as important as we think we are. Some of us think that we are the definition of perfection. Because we have a few zeros in our banks or we hold positions that are supposed to be prestigious, we believe we run the matters of the world. Here is the truth we don't want to accept.  WE ARE NOT AS IMPORTANT AS WE THINK. We might have parents who have 'made' presidents or who are presidents themselves. We might be able to fly from Lagos to Texas and Paris just to take care of a headache. The case might even be that we believe we are the holiest of the pack; always grinding for Christ and never letting the world forget. We should know that there is always someone who has more money or more prestige

The Heart of a Child

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 I have this amazing app which I use to rant. It is called Writer Plus. Frankly, there is nothing very special about it-no dictionary, no thesaurus, no audio feature, nothing at all. It is just a plain page that says 'Have something to say?'every time I open it. I know it seems inconsequential, but time after time, it pushes me to write. Today, I opened it in anger. The day started out very well, I must say. I took a dreaded test and I was able to smile afterwards. I travelled home safely. I was able to watch movies without feeling  any iota of guilt (med school is horrible like that). To cut the long story short, I was on Instagram (my favourite) this evening, and I saw this story about a secondary school boy that tried to poison his classmate. Out of curiosity,  I googled it to get the full gist, and it split my heart into  two. Maybe you have heard the story before, maybe not, but here it is: A 12 year old boy was caught trying to poison his classmate. His reason was th

The Wedding

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"I present to you the latest couples in town!" I heard the priest say as I walked into the jam-packed church. I had chosen to be fashionably late for this one because  1.  It was not my wedding and  2. I didn't even know any of the couples. Before you judge or call me jobless (which I am not by the way), I got to watch 30 couples get married. Yes 30! Although I missed the vows(the best part of every wedding), I was part of the standing ovation and the dancing that followed. Amidst the chaos, I was able to squeeze through sweating and gyrating bodies and make it to the front. I had to see for myself, the couples that had agreed to share their 'special' day with twenty-nine others, a day that I don't even plan to share at all. Forgive my language, but I was stunned to set my eyes on the most mismatched pairs in the entire universe. There was a couple that reminded me of my grandparents. There was this beautiful young lady who seemed ecstatic to be in the

Excerpts from my Book I

This is just an excerpt from my book. It is not complete,  but I promise that before my next birthday, it will be. I figured that if I put my deadline out there, then I will take it seriously. It is just a draft, so it is not perfect. I sincerely apologise in advance for the typographical and language errors that you will encounter. I also promise that this give nothing away, not even the storyline. (If you don't like that, I'm in my room. Feel free to come and beat me.) ................................................................. Adanna Weekends are supposed to be amazing, but let's face it the only real break comes on Saturday. On Sunday, I have to wake up too early for morning mass and when I come back, I spend the rest of the day catching up on work. When Ama started quacking me, I knew it was already Sunday. "Hmmm...?" "I'm awake. I promise" "Just two minutes more, please" "Ok, only one minute" My pleas were l

Confessions of a Make-up Beginner

For years, I had stuck to the light makeup/plain face routine. To most, I was the kind of girl that did not enjoy painting my face. To others, I loved the natural look. Guess what? You know the girl that ogled at all the expensive clothes from the window because she could not afford them? Here she is. I was a complete novice who could not tell difference between foundation and powder but still wanted to look like the stars on tv. The makeup brushes were so many that I thought some were spares. My attempt at drawing eyebrows always turned out to be a disaster, and it took a long long time for the word, 'definer' to find its way into my vocabulary (still don't get the point of it though). Then came adulthood/university. In the beginning, I was very comfortable with a bland face. I learned to believe people that said I needed no makeup to be beautiful and I convinced myself that my ' man' would prefer to see the real me instead of going though layers of makeup. My vo

Just My Luck

Minutes ago, I was limping towards the Rumola flyover barefooted with my pair of sandals in one hand, a left leg that refused to stop bleeding and a toe that seemed to be growing in size and redness. I should have been mad at the world, and maybe even God if I really wanted to be dramatic, but there I was laughing at myself and watching people try to draw my attention to the blood on my leg. I wanted to shout, 'I know! It hurts like the devil!' but I swallowed my words and kept walking. From the corner of my eye, I noticed the mentally unstable man that watched me pitifully as he walked in the opposite direction. I would have also stared at anyone I saw in such a situation too, but all I wanted was for them to pretend that I was invisible. Did I mention that I was dripping wet too? Yes it was the stupid rain and the gutter that I could not quite jump over, that got me into this messy situation, but who has the right to blame nature or call her stupid? Back to my series of unf

I've Got The Magic

While others were settling down and trying to hear the word of God in the church, I was busy replaying BOB's I've got the magic in me in my head. I've got the magic in me Everytime I touch that track it turns into gold Everybody knows I've got the.... It went on and on until I had to scold my  mind and  get myself together. While I listened to the rather long talk on The Holy Spirit, I realised why the song had come to me. The 'magic' is the Holy Spirit. When we receive him, we have the power to do anything we want. Do you know the best part? Everybody knows because the Holy Spirit cannot be hidden. It pours out of our mouths and hearts in the way we speak and live our lives. Today, I learned so much. I realised that the Holy Spirit is less about the fire that consumes and more of that which empowers. It comes with various gifts that have been tailored to suit each personality. St. Paul tells us in his letter to the Corinthians that there is a different

The Bed of White Lies

For those that do not know or those that have managed to convince themselves otherwise, white lies are still lies. They just sound slightly better in our ears. Everyday we dish out lies to people we care about in order not to make them feel bad or make ourselves feel better. This is a list of common white lies that we might have used a bit too often (in no particular order):  1.  Friend: I called earlier, but you did not pick. What happened?       You: Sorry I was busy (trying to stand up, but failing wolfly. Lazy thing.)  2. Friend: What do you think of my dress?      You: (Because you know she can't change) I like the colour. (What of the design, fitting, etc?)  3. After a simple test, you see your friend who clearly had a hard time.      Friend: How did your test go?      You: It was not so wonderful.  4. Friend. Did you see the result? What did I get?      You: (You already checked and it was terrible) I was not really paying attention.  5. Your friend has alre

My Hands Are Clean

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Last year, for the first time in my life, I was opportuned to organise an event. Was it stressful? You have no idea! Do I regret it? Not at all. After all the shouting and running around, it was eventually over. Then, I had to give an account. One of my greatest fears in this world is to lose my integrity (one of my very few possessions) and for a reason I could not fathom, that particular task scared me. Eventually(thank God) I was able to clear my name and continue my life with my head held high. Do you know that Jesus had to give an account of stewardship as well? Let me show you: John 17:4 (KJV)   I have glorified thee on the earth: I have finished the work which thou gavest me to do. John 17:12 (KJV)   While I was with them in the world, I kept them in thy name: those that thou gavest me I have kept, and none of them is lost, but the son of perdition; that the scripture might be fulfilled. Giving an account does not necessarily mean a financial one. It can be spiritual,

Don't Be Shy

Novel freak. That is what I would love to term myself, but I am going to play the honesty card. I am absolutely nothing compared to some book monsters I know. I mean the two-books-a-week monsters that have a very tight schedule but still insist on indulging. This happens to be nearly impossible in medical school, but I know of a few exceptions that still pull it off. Anyways, I really missed reading (plus I needed inspiration for this book I am working on) so I tried to read a new book whose author I knew nothing about. Before I explain how I feel about the book, you should know that I am a hopeless romantic whose love life has been completely destroyed by writers that have a  knack for painting a near-perfect picture of overly eligible bachelors; men that could never exist even if they tried. Now, I must mention that the book blew me away, not just because the lead male was my ideal man(except that I love them dark) but because I met the writer I really want to be; dropping a touch

Not Every Girl Wants To Be Skinny

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The world is really a funny place. The skinny ones want to be fat and the plump, healthy-looking ones want to be skinny. The weight loss project has become so rampant on social media that the tiny people (like me) are intimidated and are too shy to ask for help. Well, this post is dedicated to all the girls out there whose skirts have refused to stay on their waists and who are tired of calling 'aboki' to adjust their clothes all the time. I had to go surfing on the net on behalf of the #TeamGainSomeWeight community and these are some questions of mine that they were able to answer. I might have added a few tips of my own. I hope this helps. Q-Why am I losing weight? A-Weight loss can be caused by various factors. • Genetics- Does it run in your family? • Stress- Are you sleeping enough? Is any man/woman giving you a hard time? How are your grades in school? • Health-related issues- Do you feel sick sometimes? When was the last time you visited a doctor? Do you kn

SUNDAY CHOPS: Perfect is Boring

"Do you know what RTA is?" "Yes. Renal tubular acidosis... sorry...road traffic accident." "Yes. That is what I am here for. Can you believe that a sharp object passed through my neck? I was..." That was how my hospital visitation kicked off yesterday and I was thrown into a pool of stories, each with a different angle. The men with bullet wounds, the ones with cancer, the young man who had to lose his leg, the one with a bandaged penis, the Muslim that begged us to pray for him, the man that chose not to speak to us, the man that won't stop talking... It was one of the most trying experiences I had had and I was wondering why God allowed terrible things to happen to people. Well this morning, I was late to church(as usual) and when I finally snuck to my seat and settled in, I thought I was ready for the Man of God and the usual speech on our privileges as children of The Most High . As if he could read my mind, he said the exact opposite. "

PEOPLE’S WEEKEND: The Talent Finder

First day of People’s Weekend!! Let me confess now that I did these interviews last week and I should have posted this ages ago but ‘based on logistics’(sorry I could not resist) I missed my deadline and chose to move it up to this day.  Background info: My subjects are all medical students (my classmates to be precise) who I assumed, lived triangular lives: school to library to bed (and church occasionally). I decided to meet them to confirm suspicions. Surprise, surprise! ****************************************************************************** Me: What do you do except school? D: I’m shy…. Me: Don’t worry; nobody will know it is you.  D: Drawing Me: WOWW!!! (I never dreamt this person did anything except devour books and How To Get Away With Murder). How come we have not seen any of your works?? She opens instagram and shows me one. I am speechless for a few seconds because she is really good. Me: If you could do this as a real job, will you? D: Of cour

First of all...πŸ™ƒπŸ™ƒπŸ™ƒ

Welcome! This should have been my very first post and I do apologise for that. I'm very new to blogging and I'm yet to understand how it really works. Well, until then, this is what I plan to do with my blog. I should be posting at least thrice a week. I know it is poor and I apologise for that. Subsequently (hopefully) the frequency will improve. With that said, this is the plan. 1. Sunday Chops: This will be featured on Sundays, obviously. Here I will pick any Christian topic of my choice and talk about it to the best of my knowledge. As I am very far from perfect, I hope to hear from you through the comment column. Maybe we can learn a thing or two from ourselves. 2. Midweek Banter: This is more like a freestyle on any topic I choose...or you choose depending on how this blog unfolds. It will be featured on Tuesdays or Wednesdays. I am totally open to honest criticism. 3. People's Weekend: This happens to be my personal favourite. I interview various people on  a ran

Me in the Middle

I have always loved talking about my childhood, when things were much simpler and no one was responsible for anything. When we were little, we had this silly game (amongst many others) we called 'Me in the Middle'. We were five and it was such a great honour to be in the middle that we literally fought for it. Now, I can't even remember what was so significant about that, about being in the middle. It even came with a song! (Welcome to my big crazy happy family.) Now we are all much older and the pure unadulterated joy we used to get from such senseless games has been reduced to a mere memory. Now, the middle is no longer a position one should find himself in. Do you know what it means to take a side? It means you know what you really want. The syndrome of indecision happens to be one of the most annoying ones and the most rampant in the political world. Everyone wants to join the winning team(where ever it is). The terms 'camp' and 'decamp' become new man